Bono craves acceptance, idiots give it to him.

Nominations for The Meteors 2011 Announced

Bono craves acceptance, idiots give it to him.
Bono craves acceptance, idiots give it to him.

Yesterday it was announced that there would be no Meteor Ireland Music Awards this year due to the people what normally do them not wanting to do them. The out-pouring of grief from dedicated music fans that followed this announcement brought a tear to my eye. What are the people of Ireland supposed to do without the highlight of their musical calendar? The prospect of being deprived of such a vital indicator of the current quality of both the Irish and international music scene in what are already such tough and challenging times is too awful to think about. We can hope and pray that the Meteor Ireland Music Awards return next year but, for now, I’m willing to fill the void left in all our lives.

It gives me great pleasure to announce The Meteors, which will take place late on the night of 29th February 2011 at 2am in my front room. Tickets – costing €8 plus Curly Wurly – will be available exclusively from Centra in Stoneybatter. Playing live on the night will be my iTunes, though we’re hoping ABBA might be reformed by then and will come along. In keeping with the grand tradition of every crap awards show, Westlife have confirmed their attendance and, in a needlessly detailed RSVP, told us that while they would arrive together and get their spray-on tans together the previous afternoon, they would each wear a slightly different shade of extremely shiny suit to express their individuality. Like so. The full list of nominees has just been retrieved from thin air and the public are invited to vote in all categories by simply texting “OMG” followed by the name of the act to 51551 between 1:45 and 3pm, Mon -Fri.

Best Radio DJ
Ray Foley’s ego
Neil Prendeville
Joe Duffy
Zig & Zag
AA Roadwatch

Best Irish Band
U2
Westlife
The Saturdays
The Script
Mumford & Sons

Best Irish Male
Paddy Casey
Dustin the Turkey
Matt Cardle
Jedward
Paddy Casey
Michael Collins

Best Irish Female
Enya
MaBySuDoKu
Wallis Bird
My auntie Bridie
Jedward

Best Irish Pop Act
Snow Patrol
Kíla
The Rubberbandits
Boyzone
Samantha Mumba
Westlife

Best Irish Album
The Script
Pope Benedict XV
Westlife
Crystal Swing
U2

Best Irish Live Performance
Tipperary Hurling Team
The Late Late Toy Show
Crystal Swing
Imagine Broadband guy
Jim Corr

Best Folk/Traditional
Christy Moore
Westlife
Crystal Swing
Sharon Shannon
Aslan

Best International Band
The Killers
Kings of Leon
Foo Fighters
Westlife
Kasabian

Best International Male
Aiden Grimshaw
Matt Cardle
Paije Richardson
Nicolo Festa
Wagner Carrilho

Best International Female
Lady Gaga
Lady Gagagaga
Lady Gagagagagagagagagagaga
Béyonce
Katy Perry/Brand/Hudson

Best International Album
Now That’s What I Call Music 77
Now That’s What I Call Xmas
The Very Best of Now Dance 2010
The Greatest Hits of 2010
Facebook Profile Photos

Best International Live Performance
Guns ‘n’ Roses
Axl Rose
People who bottled Axl Rose
Denis Desmond
Whitney Houston

Lifetime Achievement Award
Jedward

Humanitarian Award
Willie O’Dea

Hope for 2011
The Green Party
Laura Izibor
Meteor Ireland Music Awards 2012
Villagers
The Commitments

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7 Comments

  1. Do you pay €8 and a Curly Wurly to go to the ceremony or do you pay €8 and get a ticket for the ceremony AND a Curly Wurly? Bear in mind my attendance is very much hinged on the answer…

    1. Apologies for confusing wording. The Curly Wurly is an additional handling fee on top of the €8 ticket charge. The €8 covers booking fee and fuel surcharges as well as transaction fees and credit card processing charges. The Curly Wurly fee is necessary to cover the cost of me wanting to eat Curly Wurlys.

  2. You know Damo, you really should okay holding international award shows in our sitting room with the rest of the housemates before you publicly announce your plans to the world. Personally, it’s fine by me: I just wish you’d let us know earlier.

  3. That’s probably the most sense the nominations have ever made. Tho’ I think England and France’s world cup performances should also be in the best Irish live performance category

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